by Norman Meshriy
Losing your job can be a very traumatic life experience. Job loss ranks up there with the highest of all stress-causing situations of life. And more and more people are experiencing such loss due to downsizing, corporate restructuring, workforce reduction, and the many other reasons for losing one's job. Unexpected job loss can cause difficult financial and/or psychological repercussions, not only for you, but also for your family and friends because of their concern for your well-being.
Job loss can trigger a range of emotions. For a time, the emotions can go from elation to despair, and back again, and again. This period is one of immobilization. During this time, people react in different ways. Many try to minimize the change, make it seem smaller. Some try to ignore these feelings, or hold them inside. Possibly the worst thing a person can do is to try to hide feelings. For some, trying to mask the feelings can result in a tendency to "act out" with destructive behaviors such as drinking too much, lashing out at family members, or becoming short-tempered and irritable.
Action Items:
- Find ways of successfully expressing feelings to trusted family, friends, or counselor, can be of enormous relief. Feelings of anger, disappointment, fear, and frustration are common responses to being laid off or terminated.
- Take steps! Write down some actions you can take (i.e. take a walk; call on a colleague, a friend, a relative; do some exercise; write in a journal; read about an area of interest, take a class). Taking action is often a way of taking control, feeling more in control, turning around your mood.
Job loss often triggers self-doubt. Some people find themselves fatigued and unable to accomplish their plans for the day as they process the feelings of loss. Jobs provide structure and definition. The unexpected loss of a job can be a devastating blow.
There is a natural, human process that we all go through with loss. First we are confused and immobilized. We then enter a period of self-doubt before we begin to “let go” and move forward. Taking steps, no matter how small, can result in positive momentum, allow us to test out the possibilities as we search for new meaning and replacement for what we have lost. The final phase in dealing with transitions, internalization, implies a change in both values and lifestyle. You will have developed new coping skills and grown emotionally, spiritually, or cognitively as a result of going through a difficult crisis.